now that i'm thirty i'm a different person. i have a different favourite cocktail: delovely martini from hawthorne lounge. and a different favourite song:



the favourite song thing happened last night when i went to see kings of leon. for my review, click here.

booze hound alert. i can't even go to the salon without a martini.

upon drinking too many martinis i found myself sitting on the pavement in parnell. promising not to be sick but expressing doubt about my ability to get back to my hotel.

the worst part is that getting outrageously drunk and hitting on strangers was on my original 101 things to do list. but i took it off. what a sucker. i too could have been skipping around the room now doing the i-completed-a-task dance. instead i just have a lot of shame.

anyway, like anyone ashamed of drunken antics, i'm looking for things to blame. 1) no proper lunch that day (i ate half an orange poppy seed muffin which was delicious by the way) 2) i've been really busy, my body was just dog tired (and in no way drunk). and 3) food poisoning from the dinner i did have.

in retrospect though it was probably the six martinis.

on the topic of being dog tired i'm on the up and up. i'm back in to sleeping. which at the end of the day might be the most awesome hobby i have. and this week i'm spending every night in wellington. no more gisborne! no more napier! no more new plymouth! no more tauranga! no more wanganui! and the south island can just forget it. i do get to see auckland again this week, but i'm not staying over. thank god.

and also, no more martinis. at least not for a week. i'm a bit over them.

new favourite song of all time alert.

i need music to cheer me up though. something like this....


but when i'm being less dramatic, i realise i haven't got a lot to grump about really. so what if i think i'm going to miss helen clark's dulcet tones and winston's oration. there is a reason to make like fleetwood mac and keep (thinking about tomorrow). mostly it is hottie-alert obama. i feel like i personally contributed to his victory. through will power alone. i used the power of positive thinking. i bet oprah did too. WE ARE SUCH SOUL MATES I CANNOT BELIEVE I'VE NEVER MET OPRAH.

i'm making up for it by watching lots of her 20 years of oprah dvd. number of times i've cried: three.

i've watched movies too. eg choke . i went on thursday night. 7.5/10. i've never read the book but i think it is on the 1001 list - so i REALLY must. anyway, movies about sex addicts, mental institutions and parents with dementia all add up to a good time. the very best bits were in the trailer but since i only saw that once, it didn't ruin it one iota. also i finally got to see a complete history of my sexual failures. kind of continued my sex themed movie buzz. this was a bit more uncomfortable but i'm still not sure if it is a mock or doc - umentary. and the internet is no help either. i figure the guardian reviewer had the same thoughts as me calling it an 'alleged' documentary - only he found the documentary less endearing - you can read it here. i give that a 7/10.

when i'm not losing myself in the arts, i'm indulging in fashions. i mentioned i had a new dress for the ball last week. well, i went to the ball and guess who was the belle of the ball. BINGO. it was me. god bless the l'estrange corbet dynasty. they know how to do red chiffon. but also they know how to milk the election. they had a 12.5% off day on saturday and i spent well more than i saved in preparation for looking H.O.T in new york.

oh and i'm in the koru club right now getting ready to board a plane to vancouver. RANDOM. anyway, i'm away for two weeks. first vancouver and regina (hehehe) for work then new york, boston and miami for fun and cocktails.

don't. stop. thinkin' about tomorrow. don't. stop. it'll soon be heeeeere.....

after a whiskey tasting at crazy horse steak house earlier this week, i'm all about soda water. i can NOT get enough of the stuff. add some lime for a virgin cocktail. or on the rocks. it is ALL GOOD. plus it turns out it is an adequate substitute for dutch courage. as it was enough to get me up debuting at blue note with a duet version of manic monday. it involved literal dance moves. obviously. and i'd, humbly, suggest it was life changing for the audience.
the song resonates.

as does ally mcbeal....

i don't know what i like more about ally mcbeal season one: the vonda sheppard soundtrack, the "fashions" or hating on billy. seriously, it is a three way tie.

today i watched the first six episodes of ally mcbeal. while each was brilliant in its own right, highlights included: ally telling a fat man to stop looking for the one and to settle for the only, ally stealing "sex jelly" from the supermarket and elaine trying to market the face bra. and jon bonjovi hasn't even joined the cast yet. i have some fun times ahead of me!!!!

tonight, when i drunk my nine dollar cosmopolitans from concrete i felt so freakin' happy. that is what happens when you mix liquor and great ideas. the great ideas are still top secret, unlike my adoration of cranberry juice. adoration that has been with me since back in the day. when matterhorn was a hip new place and i could sit on a glass of cranberry juice for a good two hours. it is amazing how well you can pace yourself when you're actually destitute.

anway, just as well my evening involved liquor because my nerves a still a bit delicate. my office - ie the place i spend 4o hours a week - has mice. wonderful. today i had to get someone in my team to move a box under my desk because i'd convinced myself it was the nest. i am so irrational about this that actually i have to stop the description of my crazy tactics today because otherwise i wont be able to sleep. my imagination is what one might call overactive.

the first mouse spotted on my floor came out of the womens toilets yesterday. naturally i exclusively use the unisex disability access toilet now. but only after i turn on the light and stomp around a bit. today i felt a little more comfortable as i spotted the first of the bait boxes. is there a more joyous site than a bait box, be it a plastic semi circle or a cardboard rectangle? not according to this girl.

actually i'm ending this post now so i can go and watch something happy before bed. like something from this website. or cruz beckham breakdancing to the spice girls. anything to take my thoughts of my thermal socks at work being a comfy bed for a rodent predator.

basically, if i ever want to have a conversation with any of my extended family i need to have babies or wicked tales of the city. i realised this when i was in christchurch this week. because i managed to say very little and i am pretty certain noone really noticed.

i went to christchurch with my mother, my sister and my nephews. because that is the kind of girl i am. and we visited relatives. who asked me about work. barely waited for the answer then switched to talking to my sister about the minutiae of her life. i drank my tea.

i don't really blame them, but hello i'd give them conversation prompts: like telling them how much i adore travel in the hopes that would create a good three minutes worth of conversation. but no. i wonder if my family have created a myth about me. that i'm carrie from sex and the city the early episodes (they ask me what kind of cocktails i like, but not because i demonstrate any interest in cocktails when i am with them, but just because they need something to say). maybe they thought the whole travel thing was a cover for how i'm following my version of BIG all over the world. i am finding it hard to articulate but basically if i'm as old as i am and unwed and barren, i have to be hitting the booze and partying all night. when hello, i'm MULTIDIMENSIONAL. of course, my sister lapped it up but in a few years will be resentful that they see her as a baby machine.***ps i friggen hope the myth is along the sex and the city lines by the way. the worse option would be the lonely old spinster with a million cats. which is why i don't tell them about the crochet.

my family are nice of course. and can make great cups of tea. but i was pleased when i could break away and sightsee. like the day i took my ryles to the antarctic centre to see the penguins and play in the snow. which also meant a break from my sister and my mother. much needed because they do not make hotel suites big enough to contain my mother's passive aggression basically.


these penguins aren't real, but he took some convincing. and i wanted to stay in the snow forever because he kept slipping and it was hilarious. but i think the guides thought i was the meanest aunt in history when actually the truth is i would win awards if they gave them out for best aunt. as ryles gets older i will keep my best aunt title too. i can't wait to talk to him about stuff like crappy television and the best waterslides in the world. or whatever tickles his fancy.

you probably didn't know this but my dream was to drink cocktails from a pineapple in hawaii

and waikiki delivered. i don't want to bore you with details because basically my strength is in reporting on the inane not on the marvellous. but if i were to jump up on the white board and brainstorm the cocktail experiences i would put up the words: mai tai bar, hawaiian shirted band playing jimmy buffet songs, free nuts, australian hitting on us, tasty tasty cocktails, sunset, warm and barman that was the long lost identical twin of my brother. with the exception of the australian-trying-to-guess-where-in-new-zealand-we-were-from conversation it was perfection.

this holiday was the best idea helena ever had. it is a shame she didn't make it to waikiki to enjoy it with us. we'll just have to make up for it in NYC.

i bet that you look good on the dancefloor....


you'd be right. and at last i have photographic evidence of the fact. my new nikon is pocketsized which meant that i could take photos and videos of me dancing my heart out.



and that is like at two in the morning too. look how serene i am when i'm in my natural habitat. but note too many girls crowding me. i almost basically got into a fight with a drunk woman who kept stomping on me with her awful boots. and then banging in to me and drinking my water just cos it was there. she had a sense of entitlement i didn't appreciate. she literally asked if i would hit her. i was like (a) i doubt it and (b) i battle on the dancefloor honey.

despite what the photo shows there were lots of boys there. which is in contrast to the last similar event i went to where there were lots of mature men. dancing and 'whatnot'. a happy medium would be better. late twenties, hot, single. as opposed to the nineteen and hot or the 45 and not. anyway i was there for the music.


we don't talk about love, we only want to get drunk....

before 24 hour party people, i went to the cross to spend my bar tab from the quiz earlier in the week. the money was spent on the first drink a cosmopolitan.

the adorable barman was there and he adorably spilt the second cocktail we ordered all over his pants. adorable. i would have married him right there.


eyes without a face....

and here is my parting photo for you. which is evidence of the fact that in four in the morning simply pushing the shoot button on the camera is an achievement. this late night selfie was the best of about thirty. but that's what is good about me (apart from my dancing skills) i'm not afraid of public and late night self portraiture.

i am such a nanna these days that i have to set myself staying-out-late goals. shame. the plan - after some discussions - was to go here and stay until it closed. atomic at the san fran bathhouse. eighties punk through to new wave through to pop. LOVES IT.

so anyway, i went. and started the dancefloor when duran duran's planet earth came on. noone has ever done such a good job of interpretive dancing to i ran by flock of seagulls as i did last night. and we requested the buzzcocks. ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with? it rang true, and after a moments contemplation i again assaulted the dance floor with a stella perfomance. the dance floor really was mine. i have the badge to prove it (a gift from mr dj).

by one am i was dehydrated (not helped by swimming during the day and cocktails at the cross immediately before going to the san fran bathhouse. fyi the elderflower mojito at the cross is pleasant enough but too sweet for my liking). so took a break but all the underaged drinkers who had somehow got past security were smoking on the balcony and ruining my buzz. fortunately the dancefloor was smokin' as well - even without me - so i went back for more.

then some drunk underaged girl kicked me . she was trying to get on stage when blue monday came on. i was just trying to dance my heart out. her exhibitionist tendancies offended me. so i told her off. like a nanna. i thought about getting security involved, but who likes to cause a scene?

oh and some chick knocked over my drink with her handbag. she was good about it. however, since i was alread dehydrated i kind of lost perspective and thought this was the end of the world. plus, you know, it was waaaaay past my bedtime. i was ready to rumble.

so after nearly getting in to two fights i went back to concentrating on the dancing. i fell back in love with simon le bon. mr dj played hungry like the wolf and i just about passed out due to the excitement.

at three i thought it would end. but mr dj has stamina and put get into the groove on. i thought i might collapse. i had been gearing up to a three am finish. so i went to the coat check. got my jacket and vacated the premises. i knew i'd gone hard, but i was running on empty. a few more songs would have been the death of me.

i await the next atomic so i can make another attempt at staying out until the end of the event.

someone once sent me a powerpoint presentation of inspirational statements. my favourite was something about how it is a miserable existence if your only fun time is the weekend. amen, i thought. so i printed it out and put it on my cubicle wall. the boss lady thought i was funny and i won friends and influenced people with my irreverence.

anyway, today was all about having fun time outside of the weekend. because i had the best evening ever (that didn't involve a romantic lead, that is, because romantic leads make evenings pretty awesome also). to summarise, i:

1. went to the launch of this report and there were ministers of the crown there and salmon puffs. personally i was more interested in the puffs, but i made nice with the suits and even flirted with a blind man.
2. walked along the waterfront in the sun.
3. swam in oriental bay - i did handstands too, even though i had intended to keep my hair dry tonight.
4. had a spa at freyberg pool. it is a communal spa and the man with the underwear instead of togs nearly put me off. but it was just so warm and relaxing the underwear man became irrelevant.
5. dinner at sandwiches. as well as cocktails. although my mouth is swelling the way it does when i eat tomatoes. i wonder if there was something particularly acidic in my pizza (pizza at sandwiches? it just seemed so right). both cocktails and pizza were delicious and that decor! even with duct tape holding the seating together it was just a pleasure being there.
6. leaving notes on the car windshields of hot men. or just men. whatever, i was drunk after sandwiches. everything seemed like a good idea.
7. came home and ate schoc chocolate (walnut and coffee - farcken amazing combination)
8. discovered that not only was their a marie claire magazine (new) on the couch but that ten years of nineties one hit wonders was on tele. 1990 was vanilla ice (pictured). it was awesome to watch but it annoys me when the term one hit wonder becomes meaningless. so, for example, my homeboy vanilla had at least two hits, the second being play that funky music. similarly the one hit wonder for 93: 4 non blondes ignores the value of their song joey, which is actually my favourite of their songs. but this is me arguing the details. the actual net result was a great television night.

and NOW i'm preparing to watch the final disc of season two of full house (fyi season two of gilmore girls is over for me. it was so great and i'm in love with both christopher and luke). honestly, best day in history. i'm so glad that weekends aren't my only fun time.

so i'm an alcoholic now.

part one: cocktails at boulot:


part two, cocktails at hawthorn lounge


with regards part one - cocktail was great, food was pretty good, but overall it was overpriced.
with regards part two - i'm so in love with the hawthorn lounge because it makes me feel like james bond's girlfriend. plus, i always see famous people there. famous in my world at least. tonight i saw felix, star of the saturday afternoon radio during my university years, and beyond. he wasn't as skinny white boy as i expected. while that is probably a plus for him, it was a downer for me. my intuition failed me.