here are this weekend's headlines

JACK BLACK NOT ANNOYING IN A MOVIE

i went to see jack black, star of the 'awesome' 'movie' nacho libre, and mos def be adorable in be kind rewind. i got tickets thanks to an influenza and pneumonia cocktail keeping the e-i-d in bed and away from the cinema. lucky me. 10/10 for the ghostbusters and rush hour 2 remakes. but, despite everyone in the theatre being in love with the movie as far as i could tell, i grew weary of the moments that weren't the remakes. 7/10. also, their website lets you swede the covers of movies. i did lotr (as viggo's character, whatshisname) and wedding singer as adam sandler.

ERROL FLYNN A HEARTTHROB


so, after a good night's sleep and a coffee from mojo on kent terrace that took about three years to make, i went to see errol flynn steal the show in the adventures of robin hood. reow. best film in the festival to date. and even though i think he was a dirty smoker, i'd go there. 9/10.

CHAMPAGNE COCKTAILS MAKE YOU DANCE BETTER

throw peach schnapps in a champagne flute, pour over some lindauer and just TRY and stop me finding ricky martin in your collection.

remember how i was in hollywood and actually SAW ricky get his star on the walk of fame. as in i was there basically when this photo was taken. ah, memories. like the corner of my mind.

i was shaking my bon bon in my $14 savemart dress. like miss thing. i am dreading the photos, but at the time i thought i was absolutely charming. and coordinated. plus, in some ways dancing was the only option because it was about minus one thousand degrees last night. i blessed my electric blanket when i got home and had a religious moment as i got to enjoy a preheated bed.

BOY GETS GIRL THEN LOSES GIRL

my final film of the weekend, billy the kid. a documentary about billy, who is unique but tries not to let it go to his head. he falls in love, gets his heart broken, and tells us about his family. also he is a purple belt and is enchanting. 7.5/10 for the doco. 10/10 for billy being awesome (you can read a bit more about it here, and fyi billy is an actual movie star as well) and 20/10 for billy's mother and her metallica tshirt (note i love both equally, and cannot find an internet image of either to save my life.

you should probably read this article. because guess what? the shrieking female fans.... that includes moi.

since i last updated (in dallas airport, the greatest airport in the world despite its four dollars for one strawberry - which is a story i will no doubt repeat to everyone in detail upon my return to new zealand) i have changed as a person. many times over.

i've been to savannah where there are cockroaches the size of the palm of my hand (more or less anyway) and got to be all ladylike in historic homes and eat soul food and paula dean fried chicken at lady and sons. i also discovered that corn bread is gross and that cream corn can be divine. and danced on a riverboat and was taught the electric slide.

i went to vegas where i found frank sinatra. and gambling. and netted a 25 dollar profit in roulette. i also found that i'm allergic to rides that spin you around to much (at circus circus) and that i love roller coasters more than i thought (and the photos that you have to pay $20 for at the end of the rides, which at the time ALWAYS seem worth it). in vegas i was caught up in theme hotels and elvis impersonators and lying poolside for hours on end listening to pop music loudly. fyi the sahara might just be the best hotel that ever there was.

now i'm in LA. hollywood to be precise. and i have become star obsessed. this is probably how stalkers start off. it began with seeing former all black michael "ice man" jones at LAX. and then putting my hands in julie andrews' hand prints and discovering we were a perfect match and that she had signed the imprint on the 26th of march. which is MY BIRTHDAY. destiny! and also frank sinatra is right next to julie andrews. which given my vegas experience was like a destiny double whammy. and then this morning seeing ricki and then going to universal studios and almost seeing adam sandler, then going to the filming of the hottest new warner brothers sitcom "the big bang theory".... the stars are not just in the sky and on the walk of fame... they are also in my eyes. things were looking really great when the paper said morrissey was playing in hollywood on thursday. but the paper lied and so i'm currently feeling a bit weapy. but that could also be the thoughts of the holiday nearly being over.... the only way this will be bearable is if the ice man is on the same flight to dorkland on saturday. we would have so much to catch up on. i haven't seen him since that time in the bnz foodcourt when i was 14. ahh the memories...

right, i'm off to bed. it is exhausting being on holiday.