hey, is your kettle broken?



cos mine is. and so is morgan and cal's. apparently. and someone else who i don't know had to buy a kettle midway through entertaining. i haven't actually asked anyone but it is possible that all kettles are broken but nobody (apart from me and morgue) is talking about it. hence my question, is your kettle broken?


now begins the arduous task of buying a new kettle. starting with selection. although it is not my actual decision - it is my flatmate's kettle and therefore the decision is hers how she would like to replace it - i google image searched electric kettles and guess what? they are all various shades of hideous. and then actually making time to go to the store and get it or being bothered to use the internet (for something other than reading blogs and writing awesome emails and buying stationery) and ordering a kettle off the internet. it all seems too much. the alternative is boiling water in a pot for tea or coffee (the only reason to have a kettle is cups of tea and coffee), which was romantic the first time (i felt like i was anne of green gable) but has now worn my patience.


you know what else is wearing my patience: the cold. i'm constantly frozen. it is freezing my braincells and causing me to do things like be a bitch to everyone. not that everyone is blameless (cos people also wear my patience). lucky i'm so freakin' charming most of the time or my friends and colleagues would be dropping like flies. also luckily my parents seem to adore me which eliminates one sphere of insecurity from my life... there are only like a million others (easy to tackle and all that). i may have to take a day off from life and lock myself in a room with gilmore girls dvds so i can pretend i'm luke's girlfriend. cos that would be much more emotionally intelligent than my current approach which is to snort at people when they talk to me. mature ahe?

if i had a kettle that worked, my guess is this would not be happening.

today was an odd day. i think i vaguely remember reading something once about how when you're stressed your personality changes. which explains why i'm basically the grumpiest person alive. and how basically everything that happened today should be viewed through that lens.

the first thing that happened was i put on my tracksuit. good.

i walked into work but walked slow. like a snail. bad. but then walking slow meant i got to watch the sun rise over the harbour as cargo ships were sailing. or whatever cargo ships do. good.

i decided to treat myself after the long long walk with scrambled eggs at liquidate. good. the scrambled eggs took freakin' ages. bad. but that meant that the ex internet dater had time to join me for coffee. very good. and while i was waiting both for her and the eggs something awesome happened. the guy sitting next to me got asked out on a date because he looked like a nice man. first he was asked if he was single. yes. then he was asked if he was interested in meeting a nice woman. he kind of nodded. and then if he would meet the woman's mother at twelve thirty for lunch. and he said yes. awesome. i fell in love with the man and the woman (who was asking on behalf of her mother) at once because hello, talk about movie made for jennifer lopez and richard gere. a shall we dance two, if you will.

anyway i couldn't go to liquidate at lunchtime and spy on the date. bad. because i was in budget lockup. very bad. it wasn't bad per se. but i had a lot of work to do today and being locked in a room for three hours or whatever lost its novelty around hour two. two water options though, still (okay) and sparkling (great).

then i went back to work and people kept asking me about the budget. bad. and i couldn't remember a thing that i learned over the three hour period. bad. except what i ate, which i could remember in minute detail. and then some reporter from stuff wrote a semi amusing article on being in lockup and it irked me. bad. cos i'm grumpy. bad. but i can't figure out why else it would make me grumpy.

then i worked and arranged a whip round for a colleague who is graduating and celebrating her birthday. all in one day. today. anyway that is filled with politics. because that is just the way things are right now. and i'm sure i did it all wrong. but guess what. best bouquet ever. good.

this was followed by will he wont he indecisiveness on the part of another colleague who couldn't decide whether to go to the graduation party. bad. and did i care? no. did i have to hear all about it. yes. bad. but anyway i go to the party thinking it will be some drinks and chips in town and guess what. a catered party with wait staff and the expectation of speeches. as in people expected speeches from me. so when i did speak and attribute her success to my letter of recommendation there was silence. bad. people don't get humour. bad. i should have gone to the comedy show with d3vo. except that the catering was really really good. and the wait staff really really responsive. and the night really really not about me. bad.

after what seemed like hours of going over nuances of other people's behaviour, which you know i love, someone somehow convinced me that it would be okay to change into my tracksuit (not much convincing required). then after moments, i was convinced that if i bat my eyelids i could get into boogie wonderland in my tracksuit. seemed like a challenge. bad. that i was up to. good. so i got in and danced and requested celebration.

and then hrc and her posse turned up. and i left. and came home to watch buffy. but now i'm too tired. i hope i wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow and am less grumpy. grumpy bad. but i like the way the tracksuit features throughout the day. even though it is ready for a wash, i'd be supportive of it playing a similar part in tomorrow's activities.