it's like i have some kind of deathwish for my brain cells. this weekend i watched the six o'clock news. big mistake. it is terrible. especially on easter sunday aka the very definition of a slow news day. honestly, if i'd have emailed tv3 they'd have probably put a story on about my "see nobody" weekend and how awesome it was. it would have literally been more interesting than a story about a man who is going sailing and has to make sure he packs enough food or whatever. anyway, that is the least of it. because tonight, i watched a large portion of this is your life, jonah lomu.

literally, i think i'm brain dead now.

nothing against jonah. sure he broke the heart of my co-seventh form peer counsellor. but he's still an okay guy or whatever. probably. and my cousin named her son after him. bless. but the point is i don't care. and listening to tired stories about rugby tours i wasn't on is just super boring. and by the time i eventually gave up grant kereama hadn't even made an appearance. and that was the sole reason for me watching - to see the teary reunion between kidney diseased jonah and his kidney donor grant. television gold - at least it would have been had it happened.

shame on new zealand for only having sports star this is your lifers. so, like that ACT party dude - i've been thinking. non-sport star celebs to be part of this is your life.....

number one (obviously) - lindsay yeo. he made my life worth living in the eighties. especially with his birthday calls. in 1986 my sister won a birthday cake on the birthday calls (every morning someone won) and it was the most extravagant and delicious chocolate cake i'd ever seen before (or again). then in 1987 I won the cake. and guess what. cream sponge. ew. anyway, i hope he is still alive. because he deserves a this is your life. guest could include bumble, belinda and wally weta.

number two - another radio celeb. this time nick tansley. he suffered public shame. and rose like a pheonix from the ashes. and once he held my brothers hand as a radio stunt. guests could include the members of ardijah (who appeared on his all too brief variety show: with a bucket on your head), grant kereama (at last) and my brother, if required.

number three - if we're looking for a woman, why go further than margaret urlich. i have felt close to her ever since we were part of a love triangle. when i was ten i was in love with a sixteen year old. who was in love with margaret urlich. bitch. anyway, it went nowhere - on all fronts; but i would *love* to know what happened to her. guests could include all members of when the cats away and new zealand music types like dave dobbyn.

i have omitted the obvious - peter jackson - because, i think actually that will be the next non sport this is your life - in the year 2025 (with that triathlete and danyon going before pete) and because i equally don't care about him as much as i don't care about jonah. and i'm sure there are others besides, but at this time of night, with limited brain function due to 'news' television, this is the best i can do.