when i was at the cemetery today i looked up at the hills and enjoyed the sunshine and tried to think of anything else so that i didn't cry again because i had cried so hard my head was hurting and i thought i would vomit. later, for comic relief, i got my sunglasses caught in the hair of my friend, which believe me when you're standing over an open grave is hilarious. or whatever.

anyway, i couldn't go back to work even though i had intended to. i was emotionally spent. instead i came home and slept for two hours.

then my brother came over and told me my room is tidier than he's ever seen it. i thought he was being mean, but actually he might be right. and now i'm lying in bed trying to decide whether to get up and make a cup of tea or just lie here in the dark with my curtains open and feeling sore headed waiting for the neurofen to kick in. i know tomorrow is another day and that tomorrow i'll be rocking my world dress and on top of my game. but today, i've decided to continue the wallow.