my aunt lives on the sunshine coast. wherever the heck that is. and she is in town because her incredibly virile son has just had his sixth child. my aunt doesn't look any different from when i used to spend my christmas holidays with her in wainuiomata. even though she is twenty years older.

when i would stay with my aunt i was in awe of my cousins. they would have been in their mid teens. my female cousin worked at pizza hut which had the cutest gingham outfit you'd ever seen. i used to daydream that one day i would have a dress that awesome, with the apron and everything. but i wouldn't just wear it to work. it would be everyday wear.

and my male cousin! he had the best ever collection of matchbox cars. and he had a cocacola yo-yo that lit up when you used it properly. and boy oh boy did he know how to use it properly. i didn't plus i wasn't much taller than the string of the yo-yo so it used to hit the ground before lighting up. stink.

i also remember one time just about freaking out because they were going to a club and had fake IDs and they offered to take me. i wouldn't have been much older than five but i took them deadly seriously. and when they told me i looked 20 it was the greatest moment of my life to that point. anyway, even then i was chicken and i said no. i think other kids may have had to be told they couldn't go. not me. i'm all about knowing my limits.

anyway to see my cousin with his sixth child and to hear my aunt talk about me as if i am a baby factory who needs a man really made me sad. i don't think they mean it. but darn it if they're not completely bewildered by my life and what i do. i tried explaining it but sounded so poncy. and the work element! i end up describing it in terms of the actions i do during the day: i sit at at computer. i write stuff. i go to meetings. i tell other people off. better to that than try and explain how i'm not the top of anything or the boss of anyone or an actual real life lawyer.

but anyway, i'll be over this in the morning. i don't really get that influenced by others expectations of me. and besides. for now i have a baby. the cutest nephew in the world. and i still think he is cute, despite the fact he loves the crazy frog!