some days i feel super uncool. i sit on my bed. listening to sad songs.

today i read at the same time.

and kept hitting repeat on this song.

the song reminds me of beverly hills 90210. which was my favourite show when i was ten. it inspired my entire life view. that episode where brenda and dylan finally do it at the spring fling or whatever was life changing. i taped it. and watched it over and over again. that dress donna wore! it had *the* most ridiculous petticoat arrangement.

brenda was always my favourite. i wanted to be brenda. she had the cool boyfriend.

i started to take photos of myself. i would take photos of other people, but other people tire of having their photos taken. i don’t understand why or how that can be. i try to look like brenda. it fails. i end up looking like me. in case you can’t tell, here i’m thinking: kelly, did you hook into my boyfriend when i was in france?

i have a cold. or something. i sniffle. i feel a degree of guilt. i am probably infecting my entire class with my bugs. but i see no alternative. i have tried not to pash any of them. it is a harm minimisation approach. or something. i love saying harm minimisation. it is, for example, a fancy way of justifying eating burger king when you’re tipsy.

speaking of tipsy. i fully am tipsy. right this second. i went to dinner and drank sangria. “just a hint of rum” says waiter boy. after second glass the freakin’ room was spinning. i’m not use to such things. i had to stop. when i walked home i took the longest possible route. and kept smiling to myself looking at the stars. exactly what you’re not supposed to do when walking at night by yourself. you’re meant to have a purposeful walk. i am lucky to have made it home frankly.

the rooms at home a spinning just like the rooms at the restaurant. i think i need to watch spouse swap and drink a cup of tea. immediately.