i've been a bit hot and cold lately. and it is not nice. it is all very well my trying to cease opportunites at happiness or whatever. but it should be in my own life. and not in the lives of others. so i want to earnestly examine this and to apologise.

but if i apologise then it makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be. if i apologise it's like i'm saying: let's examine this further. hell, it's almost like saying: let's discuss this. which is basically like saying: let's have a deep and meaningful. VOMIT.

so basically can't we all just accept that i'm sorry, repress a little, and move on?

in other news i played lawn bowls today. with strongerlight et al. sue and michael and kevin and teresa and fat freddy's drop were there. sue and kevin took us under their wings; it was our first time. i liked sue. she was hard as nails. and called me love. she was a bit bossy but. michael was from toronto. teresa had a sister called caroline. kevin was a task master. fat freddy's drop probably lost due to checking me out too much. probably.

i bought a hot new grey marl top especially for my adventures in lawn bowls. check it out:

i think it gave me the edge. although, to be honest. we didnt win either game. (FYI games are one hour long each. who knew?)