i feel like a playboy bunny that has been picked out of the mansion and now has to find a new place to live. oh, hold on .... that was a movie i saw tonight. 4/10.

although, i do actually feel a bit like that. tomorrow my secondment ends. and even though i have been tempted to turn to prayer to make this day come more quickly, tonight i got yelled at over the phone because obviously i'm on call 24/7 and it made me feel a little retarded and like i needed to stick around to redeem myself. plus i got a present and a card so sweet that made me want to cry. being kicked out of the mansion is making me all emotional.

don't cry for me though. because i'm making plans to go to miami in november. to art deco it up with the cuban hotties and hulk hogan.

hello all you hulkamaniacs out there. are you living by the three demandments? if not i'm gonna bring my atomic leg drop and make you hurt just like you were rowdy roddy piper and it was 1989 all over again.

actually, that picture of hulk has helped no end. i'm down right chirpy again. which hopefully means i'm ready to start on my ambitious craft project: making a dress out of my business cards. if it takes more than ten minutes though i cannot guarantee it will hold my attention. wish me luck.

after a whiskey tasting at crazy horse steak house earlier this week, i'm all about soda water. i can NOT get enough of the stuff. add some lime for a virgin cocktail. or on the rocks. it is ALL GOOD. plus it turns out it is an adequate substitute for dutch courage. as it was enough to get me up debuting at blue note with a duet version of manic monday. it involved literal dance moves. obviously. and i'd, humbly, suggest it was life changing for the audience.
the song resonates.

as does ally mcbeal....

i don't know what i like more about ally mcbeal season one: the vonda sheppard soundtrack, the "fashions" or hating on billy. seriously, it is a three way tie.

today i watched the first six episodes of ally mcbeal. while each was brilliant in its own right, highlights included: ally telling a fat man to stop looking for the one and to settle for the only, ally stealing "sex jelly" from the supermarket and elaine trying to market the face bra. and jon bonjovi hasn't even joined the cast yet. i have some fun times ahead of me!!!!

is there anything cuter than a 19 year old rapper? thank god i got tickets to chris brown and rihanna. i also got tickets today to see blackalicious. remember how in the final years of university i was all about the hip and the hop? well finally the bands are touring here. i knew if i held out long enough they would.

so now i'm pulling out my gift of gab records and practicing my bgirl moves. october is going to go off!

how come i've never read a confederacy of dunces before? don't worry though. i am making up for the oversight by reading it obsessively.

and as a result i'm progressing nicely on the 1001 books to read before you die challenge. i may have even caught up to the one book a month target after i finally finished the motivation sapping eva trout, and read the delightful miss peddigrew lives a day.

this week has been fierce. some weeks are. a election has been called, which of course is a highlight. for the first time in years i'm interested. i think the last time i was five and i wrote a story about how my mother was going to vote for david lange. my school principal gave me a smiley face stamp on my hand for that one. i have also voted in the stv vs fpp city council poll. i'm such a citizen right now.

i also did some dancing at a ball on friday night, which is perhaps the real reason i spent yesterday reading confederacy of dunces and not going to atomic. ie i needed to recover. the ball itself was fine, but low key. i wore sixty dollars of equip jewels and pulled out my disco moves once again. turns out i actually prefer dancing by myself though, so i kept moving away from my partners so i could twirl alone. anyway after the ball i drank whiskey in the holiday inn hotel lobby until two am while some soccer team ate sandwiches. as an aside, they weren't as hot as i had anticipated.

i also got pretty cultured this week. i went to see the rita angus exhibition at te papa. seeing the island bay boats in real life, and not in a faded poster in someone's living room, was like a pilgrimage for my island bay bred self. and like most great art works, it was smaller in real life. but still fierce. that same night i ate coq au vin at hippotamus. food was like a 9 out of ten. views were great. but music was random and i think the glass food by the entrance could do with a dusting. anyway, i'll be back. i also ate at plate at the holiday inn. food was pretty good. maybe a seven and a half. and i ate at the koru club and about a hundred times at my work cafe. i also went to dorkland this week. for all of about two hours.

this week i also have two new favourite songs. one is mase's feel so good. and the other is this one.



i thought i hated this song because it was on a grey's anatomy like that terrible song. how to save a life. by the fray. but then this weekend i listened to it again and decided actually it is the greatest song of all time.

anyway, i can't believe i have spent this long not reading confederacy. better get back in to it...

the problem i have with weekends is that they go by too quickly. one minute you're downing whiskey at te papa, the next you're trying to figure out if you have enough clean clothes to last the week while sobbing about dogs thanks to post secret.

i would insert a new self portrait here, but the lord alone knows where my camera is. i had it when i got back from melbourne but since then it has been awol. anyway, an old portrait will have to suffice....



remember this face because it could be on the front page of the paper on monday. actually, i'll be hurt if it is not. a dompost photographer took my photo at the book fair on saturday. and sure, the only bad publicity is no publicity or whatever, but seriously: i was reading the sensuous woman by "j" at the time. plus i am sure the photographer didn't get my best angle. pretty much i'm the only person alive who can do that.

on the topic of the sensuous woman, i bought it obviously. it is awesome, and has already paid for itself . i spent nearly an hour an a half in hysterics with AL reading it at felix while eating ginger loaf. you really must read it. topics covered include when it is okay not to wear makeup (never, unless you have a conservative surgeon in which case there is one exception: surgery), eleven orgie etiquette tips (did you know, you might need to be naked? this book is a godsend), and the hazards of sex (vd mostly, in which case "cry 'help' to the doctor and 'murder' to the man who gave it to you - but don't let those nosy neighbours hear you. the day hasn't quite arrived when venereal diseases are something to brag about").

i also got lucky man, the keith quinn story for my brother. he was stoked. naturally.

from one lucky man to another: do you know who my new favourite celebrity is? tom cruise.


that man has had some bad press (which i now understand after my brush with the dompost as per above), but has made lemonade with his role in tropic thunder. i give the movie 7.5. the best bits were the bells and whistles (the trailers at the start and the cameos throughout). so the movie and its plot were probably kind of weak. but who noticed? i was too busy watching tom cruise shake his money maker to ludacris. which brings me to my new favourite song: get back. anyway, robert downey junior was wonderful - as per my expectations. and jack black once again wasn't annoying. maybe i was too hasty to judge jack black after nacho libre. although one search on youtube reminds me i was on the money with that one. and lance romance, everyone's third favourite n*sync member made an appearance. but enough said. i do not want to spoil the cinematic experience.

and on the topic of spoiling, i'm about to spoil my sunday with more laundry.... sigh.

the problem with having a night on the town with a different group than you're used to is that you end up listening to disco music and holding hands with some random boy.

and it doesn't look this cute either. but his dancing was below par and i was hungry so i escaped to kenny's cafe for a cheese burger. it was gross, obviously, but also entirely delicious. and now i'm lying in bed trying to digest it while watching sarah palin vlogs. the US presidential election is the new olympics. in other words, i'm obsessed.

i am pretty good to you. i've written to you five hundred times. exactly. to celebrate i'm writing a list of five hundred reasons why i'm awesome.

kidding.

but if you want to, who am i to stop you from writing comments to that effect?

my most used label is about being an aunt and to celebrate i gift you a moment of adorable.




you're welcome.