it was not the best birthday. i thought i was faking happiness pretty well but by quarter to eight in the am the illusion had been shattered and i was talking about how i hate my life right now. presents helped restore my faith in humanity. and a card with elton john* singing me happy birthday provided the comic relief i needed.
plus other people were great. i have birthday mardi gras people, board game people, dvd people, flower people, cake people, scarf people and book voucher people. i have a nephew who keeps trying to kiss me and parents who make a delicious bbq even though it is cold and starting to rain.
but the problem with feeling miserable is that even when you have awesome people you still basically want to go to the bathroom and cry. and wear your sunglasses on the bus just in case you think too hard about stuff then your eyes well up with tears and people will think you're mental. when the thing is you are simply miserable. plus i don't like to talk about my misery with others really. i may pay a professional. that, at least, is my dream.
but on the upside at least i'm not joey potter. for my birthday i bought season six of dawsons and in tonight's episode it is joey's birthday too. and she is left heart broken and crying and dawson calls her a child. which is true, but hello on your birthday you should be immune from home truths. you should also be immune from misery. but life isn't perfect. damn it.
_______________*not the real elton.
