this ad helps me to remember my spirit.



it also helps me to remember phil collins who is hilarious on every level.

tonight i watched tele. it was awesome. i began my night, however, with panic calls to people at work and a reception for all blacks at parliament. but because of the already mentioned phone calls i arrived at the all blacks party late and as a result have not started a high profile affair with a sports star. rugby players are dull and not actually that attractive. but if i want a husband before i'm thirty i really have to keep my eye on the prize.

dejected, i went home via cafe laz for a chicken iskender. take away. which was brilliant as always. plus i convinced myself that with the beetroot and carrot and all that it was health food. so i got baklava as well. i also needed the sweet relief of baklava to help me get over the fact that saigon cafe is no more. no more walking down memory lane vietnamese style in newtown. just as well newtown new world sell 59 cent packets of pho noodles. in the international food section. chicken is the best.

plus i'd timed my return home just in time for PRIME ROCKS ELTON JOHN. which was the craziest doco ever. because of the way it told me nothing and involved lots of whizzy effects where a clip art rocket was flown over vegas and where freddy mercury and all of elton's famous 'friends' joined him on stage. but it brought to mind the elton john concert where i nearly got into a fight over my backpack and where some woman couldn't deal with how i can sing 'i guess that's why they call it the blues' like noone is listening.

then i messed around, watching more tele, and GREAT GORILLA ADS, before the euphoria of my electric blanket. which of course reminds me of the other way i remember my spirit... through sleep.

happy birthday to me.

it was not the best birthday. i thought i was faking happiness pretty well but by quarter to eight in the am the illusion had been shattered and i was talking about how i hate my life right now. presents helped restore my faith in humanity. and a card with elton john* singing me happy birthday provided the comic relief i needed.

plus other people were great. i have birthday mardi gras people, board game people, dvd people, flower people, cake people, scarf people and book voucher people. i have a nephew who keeps trying to kiss me and parents who make a delicious bbq even though it is cold and starting to rain.

but the problem with feeling miserable is that even when you have awesome people you still basically want to go to the bathroom and cry. and wear your sunglasses on the bus just in case you think too hard about stuff then your eyes well up with tears and people will think you're mental. when the thing is you are simply miserable. plus i don't like to talk about my misery with others really. i may pay a professional. that, at least, is my dream.

but on the upside at least i'm not joey potter. for my birthday i bought season six of dawsons and in tonight's episode it is joey's birthday too. and she is left heart broken and crying and dawson calls her a child. which is true, but hello on your birthday you should be immune from home truths. you should also be immune from misery. but life isn't perfect. damn it.

_______________

*not the real elton.