i wish samoa was all mine. not mine as in a colony or something. just mine as in my special secret. because the fact that other people who are not me are in samoa right now and enjoying it is literally breaking my heart.

i only got back this afternoon. the wounds of leaving are still fresh.

i would like to retain some mystery so you're not going to get a blow by blow account. needless to say every minute was awesome. even when it involved you being herded like cattle by police. POLICE. in the best uniforms ever by the way.

one of the things about samoa is you can always swim. ALWAYS. here i am on one of my first days in samoa. heading to the beach. taking to the lifestyle like a duck to water.




some of you* will be getting awesome postcards from me. samoa is filled to the brim with awesome postcards. anyway, i won't spoil those. but apia was SURPRISINGLY EXHAUSTING. i was offered about a thousand $10 lava lava. and had my bag checked at the grocery store. i looked suss. obviously. walking down the street took it out of you something chronic. thank god i was staying on the other side of the island. at a resort that offered afternoon tea every day at three.


at the end of the day though, it is the natural beauty of samoa that was the breathtaking part. like the waterfalls. the WATERFALLS.

this one is on upolu. after taking this photo a man made us coconut cream from scratch. touristy? yes. but he wasn't a tour guide. so there.



this one is on savai'i. we told ourselves it was the waterfall from the king kapisi video clip. but i was told otherwise by one of my new boyfs. and while i believed him MOSTLY at the time i've looked at the video clip again, and he was right. you can watch it here. and incidentally everything in this video clip i basically saw.

oh yeah, and in samoa there are lots of boys dying to flirt with you. honest to goodness. if you're lucky they will make you feel like a teenager again. leaving you giggling at the message they sent you via their babyfaced friend and having to sneak into your fale drunk on the excitement. and on the vailima. and maybe the whiskey too if i'm being honest. oh the boys! how many hearts did i break in the past week? heaps.

the biggest heart break is my own. i've fallen hard for samoa. and i won't hear a thing against it. and staying at a resort, which initially worried me, turns out to be the only way to live. refer to afternoon tea comment above. on my last day i lay on the beach and read. and slept. and listened to my ipod. and looked up at this....

and tried not to think too much about what i was leaving behind. and the characters i'd met. and the unexpected delights everywhere (like watching the sound of music on the ferry from savai'i to upolu and having a number of cute singalong moments with the guy next to me). and the bananas. have you had the bananas? like honestly they are the best thing in the world apart from samoa. and my new favourite song, i choose you. which i hope pumps in the apia clubs for years to come.

* not all of you though. my hotel ran out of stamps and the postoffice that was meant to be open until midday closed at eleven. for no apparent reason. samoa forever.

you know that movie key largo? or at least know of it?

well prepared to be impressed....



this is me having a 'cocktail' (okay, just soda water) at the very bar in which the movie is basically set.

also know the song kokomo by the beach boys? seriously, who doesn't. anyway, that song mentions key largo too. i am one step away from hooking in to john stamos (if you don't get the connection, watch yourself some full house already).

right now i'm in the LAX koru club waiting to board my plane home. i have been on the road for two weeks and i start work at eleven am tuesday morning (after getting in to wellington at eight am). i've decided not to think about how that will be almost impossible and instead to focus on how i've had a fantastic time away. on how miami is where the beautiful men are, and how i fell in love about eighteen times. on how i am so at home in new york now i barely need a guide book and how in boston i don't need one at all. how my new favourite song is glenn frey's you belong to the city and how this is best listened to LOUDLY as you're driving to find gators in the everglades. how i am mortally afraid of circling vultures. how i can now do the hustle with the best of them. and how i love maple syrup. and of course how i learnt a load at the conference that was my reason for coming to north america in the first place.

now i pray that i don't become afflicted with the food poisoning that is bothering my miami travel companion and that the sleeping pills work a treat. wish me luck.

basically, if i ever want to have a conversation with any of my extended family i need to have babies or wicked tales of the city. i realised this when i was in christchurch this week. because i managed to say very little and i am pretty certain noone really noticed.

i went to christchurch with my mother, my sister and my nephews. because that is the kind of girl i am. and we visited relatives. who asked me about work. barely waited for the answer then switched to talking to my sister about the minutiae of her life. i drank my tea.

i don't really blame them, but hello i'd give them conversation prompts: like telling them how much i adore travel in the hopes that would create a good three minutes worth of conversation. but no. i wonder if my family have created a myth about me. that i'm carrie from sex and the city the early episodes (they ask me what kind of cocktails i like, but not because i demonstrate any interest in cocktails when i am with them, but just because they need something to say). maybe they thought the whole travel thing was a cover for how i'm following my version of BIG all over the world. i am finding it hard to articulate but basically if i'm as old as i am and unwed and barren, i have to be hitting the booze and partying all night. when hello, i'm MULTIDIMENSIONAL. of course, my sister lapped it up but in a few years will be resentful that they see her as a baby machine.***ps i friggen hope the myth is along the sex and the city lines by the way. the worse option would be the lonely old spinster with a million cats. which is why i don't tell them about the crochet.

my family are nice of course. and can make great cups of tea. but i was pleased when i could break away and sightsee. like the day i took my ryles to the antarctic centre to see the penguins and play in the snow. which also meant a break from my sister and my mother. much needed because they do not make hotel suites big enough to contain my mother's passive aggression basically.


these penguins aren't real, but he took some convincing. and i wanted to stay in the snow forever because he kept slipping and it was hilarious. but i think the guides thought i was the meanest aunt in history when actually the truth is i would win awards if they gave them out for best aunt. as ryles gets older i will keep my best aunt title too. i can't wait to talk to him about stuff like crappy television and the best waterslides in the world. or whatever tickles his fancy.

like everyone, or at least one person, i'm surprised i didn't blog more about how i was having the time of my life stateside. pictures paint a thousand words though and here is one of my fave holiday snaps at the sahara casino in vegas as i cash in my one dollar slots win.

gambling rules. i also won big on roulette. naturally i have called this photo high roller. anyway, i don't think i have ever been more excited. and that includes when i saw ricki martin.

you know what i missed about wellington? the people. you know what i didn't miss? nearly everything else. interesting.

this has been compounded since my return as seeing or talking to my friends has been outtasight and everything else has been foodpoisoning. i need to find a way to be on vacation all the time. and all i can come up with is professional gambler. even though before i went i away i was ideologically opposed to gambling, i'm seriously considering this new profession. naturally it would include playing the stock market. cos that is just gambling in business suits. as opposed the tuxedos i will be wearing at the roulette wheel.

oh my god i will need a new wardrobe for this profession. sign me up.

one of the first things i did when i got back to wellington was buy six new coat hangers. it is not enough. i need about six more. i bought more than i thought.

my coat hanger of choice? the five dollar fifty three pack from the warehouse. thanks to mommy dearest i can't use wire coat hangers.

mommy dearest was only ten dollars on dvd in the states. and it came with special features. but i can't seem to make my laptop play like a multizone dvd player. so i didn't buy it. this is one of my life regrets.

my other regret is not trying to hook in to the sinatra impersonator at the greek isles casino. he was so unbelievably adorable. ADORABLE.

and life highlight was getting a photo with elvis by trent carlini. IMPERSONATORS RULE. and there are lots of them in vegas. where i will move to become a professional gambler. it will be like heaven on earth.